- Adoption should always be about the child. Any adoption plan should be favorable for the birth parents and the adoptive parents. Yet, the needs and wants of the birth parents and adoptive parents should be considered after the needs and wants of the child.
- Adoption is different from having biological children. Both are equally wonderful ways to build a family, but the experiences are not the same. For example, adoption cannot provide the experience of pregnancy or carrying on genetic traits. While adoption can relieve the aches of childlessness, it is not a cure for infertility. However, infertility and adoption can both be parts of your story. You do not need to be emotionally healed from your infertility to adopt. Your motivation for adopting should be separate from possible infertility wounds.
- Normally polite people will ask you impolite questions. The uniqueness of adoption can peak other’s interests. Their curiosities might lead them to ask about things that are none of their business. Many will probably ask if you are able to conceive a biological child. If you are able, they will then ask why you aren’t doing that instead. They will share their opinions on how you should adopt and from where you should adopt. They will most likely ask you about your child’s birth parents and why they choose to place their child for adoption. It is absolutely okay to remind a friend or family member that some information is private. Remember that many times the answers to other’s questions may not even be your story to share. Sometimes these details belong to your child or their biological family.
- Adoption costs vary greatly. It’s important to know and prepare for the financial cost of adoption. If you know adoption is right for your family, don’t let the cost deter you. There are many ways to earn or raise extra funds. While some adoptions are upwards of 40,000, others have very little to no associated costs. This link provides an estimate of the average cost for different types of adoption.
- Adoption laws vary by region. You will hire an attorney or an agency to handle all of the legal work. Still, it is useful to familiarize yourself with the specific adoption laws for your state/country.
- Adoption always stems from loss. In a perfect world adoption wouldn’t exist. Even the voluntary, informed termination of parental rights is a traumatic event. Being separated from your biological family is a loss. Of course, adoptions can be a wonderful experience for all members of the adoption triad. Yet, adoption was created as a possible solution to painful events and difficult circumstances. Remembering and validating the pain associated with adoption can help you achieve connectedness and peace among your adoptive relationships.
- You don’t know everything. Most likely there is much to learn (and unlearn), but that is okay! Great hopeful adoptive parents are not perfect. They are simply open to learning and actively seeking information from a wide variety of trusted resources.
If you’re interested in pursuing a domestic infant adoption, click here for a FREE consultation with an adoption agency to answer your questions and get you started on growing your family through adoption.
